{"id":758,"date":"2013-08-19T19:19:05","date_gmt":"2013-08-19T19:19:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nixhome.com\/?p=758"},"modified":"2018-11-19T19:40:14","modified_gmt":"2018-11-19T19:40:14","slug":"in-praise-of-shame","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nixhome.com\/index.php\/2013\/08\/19\/in-praise-of-shame\/","title":{"rendered":"In Praise of Shame"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Got your attention?<\/strong> Good. Develop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A few days ago Samantha S Hall<\/a> posted about Shame and how destructive it can be<\/a>.\n I value Samantha\u2019s connection (established through Twitter) and find \nthat we share several background characteristics. I do not disagree \nthat shame can be supremely distructive. However, I want to share two \ninstances of how shame actually helped me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I learned that Ms Hall and I have in common a development of \nco-dependency while living in abusive homes at early ages; growing up I \nlearned that emotions=weakness. Her post really put me into a \nreflective mode, and I like that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She also mentioned (the Western) Dalai Lama. It is strange how \ncertain words or phrases can create connections in the most unlikely \nplaces. Those two words linked shame and China in my mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"\/<\/figure>
\n

China<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I spent six years in China;<\/strong>\n five of those on university campuses. One of the first things I \nnoticed was that China was much more open-minded than the U.S. I saw \ngay and lesbian couples walking, arm-in-arm everywhere! Young \ncollege-aged men sat in each others laps on the buses; nobody seemed to \nnotice. College women walked across campus holding hands in public. \nBoth sexes would openly embrace, and walk across campus with arms around\n (same-sex couples) necks! When I ventured off campus, I began to \nnotice that this behavior was everywhere! How could such things be \npossible? Wasn\u2019t China known for its terrible human rights record? I \nwas taken aback, to say the least.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Guess what? They weren\u2019t Gay or Lesbian. They were just friends. \nNot \u201cbesties\u201d either. Just friends. My western socialization, whether \nit was from a micro- or macro-level socialization I cannot be sure, had \nput the belief in my mind that those relationships were sexual. I \nassumed if you sat in someone\u2019s lap on a bus, you had an intimate \nrelationship. I assumed if you walked across campus holding hands, you \nwere \u201cmore than just friends.\u201d That wasn\u2019t (and isn\u2019t) the case in \nChina. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It wasn\u2019t pretty when I learned the truth. I was (teaching, \nleadership) in class, and began to openly discuss GLBTA issues. I \nrealized that the class was incredibly uncomfortable. When I queried \nseveral students, I was assured that my topic was Taboo. I responded, \n\u201cBut you have so many openly homosexual people here!\u201d The looks on the \nstudents\u2019 faces (in hindsight) were priceless. At the time it was \nrather scary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Once I realized how far off my assumptions were, the students began \nto scold me. \u201cYou Westerners always think about sex!\u201d and \u201cWhy is \neverything always about sex?\u201d I was terribly ashamed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However that shame led me to introspectively examine my assumptions \nand beliefs. It wasn\u2019t an easy process, and I still struggle, but that \ninstance of shame still creates a desire in me to improve. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

After returning from China, I began looking for a job. I had joined a\n local Jobseekers group and was practicing interviewing. After an \ninterview, a mentor looked at me and said, \u201cVince, you are unlike any \nPhD I ever met. You are a real person.\u201d Now that was intended as a \ncompliment, but I didn\u2019t take it that way. I was suddenly ashamed that I\n had a doctorate degree. I immediately responded, \u201cWell I only have a \nPhD because I worked at university and got $5 classes; I thought it was a\n waste not to keep taking the coursework.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"\/<\/figure>
\n

Humility?<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

The mentor (well trained in personal development, thankfully) looked at me sternly and asked, \u201cDid you just apologize for being educated?\u201d WOW! I had! I was a first-generation college student and I continually struggle with the separation from my family that education has \u201cprovided.\u201d I didn\u2019t realize until that moment though how much I struggled. How could I possibly be ashamed of an education?! As Ms Hall pointed out in her post, this particular behavior stemmed from an incredible need to be a people-pleaser. In my case, I was using false humility to avoid making others uncomfortable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My counselor and I discussed that issue several times. We eventually\n linked it to a powerful co-dependency \u201ctendency\u201d of mine. But, it is \nsomething over which I am beginning to gain control, because of that \n\u201cshameful\u201d feeling at that particular moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I stated in the beginning, I agree that shame is a powerful, \ndestructive, negative force. It can lead to positive development if we \naddress it and stop covering it up. In my case, today, I can be \nthankful and appreciative of at least those two instances of shame. I \nalso no longer believe that displaying emotion equals weakness; perhaps \nwe could begin to reframe shame as a starting point, emotionally, rather\n than getting caught up in the vicious co-dependency cycle.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Got your attention? Good. Develop. 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He earned a B.A. in Sociology and Psychology from the University of Mississippi, then the Master's in Leadership and PhD in higher education administration both from the Washington State University. His core for the PhD was student affairs, and the cognate was sociology. He completed his dissertation research while living and working in China for six years. His research interests are online learning support; transnational education; two-year community and technical college leadership--particularly with respect to student retention, and organizational change & turnaround; and role playing games\u2019 (RPGs) effect on leadership skills development. He has worked in administrative roles (VP over both Academic and Student Affairs and interim president\/CEO of a community college) most of his career and has extensive management and leadership experience in East Asia, specifically in global advanced manufacturing. He is married to Lan (Misty) Song, and they have two adorable feline children, Squirt and Tiantian.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.broadvisionconsulting.com","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jerry.vincent.nix.aka.BlackMage.Dragon","https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/nixhome\/","https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/yoknapatawpha\/","https:\/\/x.com\/jvincentnix"]}]}},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5GFV3-ce","jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nixhome.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/akshar-dave-766359-unsplash.jpg?fit=6000%2C4000&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nixhome.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/758","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nixhome.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nixhome.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nixhome.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nixhome.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=758"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/nixhome.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/758\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":768,"href":"https:\/\/nixhome.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/758\/revisions\/768"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nixhome.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/759"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nixhome.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=758"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nixhome.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=758"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nixhome.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=758"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}